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Jessica Spotswood
jessica_shea
23 April 2011 @ 02:00 am
Friday Five: Thoughts on Fear  
  1. Author Veronica Roth (DIVERGENT)’s brave post on the fear she’s faced while writing her sequel
  2. Author Erin Bowman (THE LAICOS PROJECT)’s awesome post on her fear after getting a book deal
  3. Author Elizabeth Gilbert (EAT PREY LOVE)’s TED talk on the psychological construct of muses and doing the work despite the fear. This is one of my favorite talks on creativity ever, because it fuses the notion that there is some divine spark of inspiration with the fact that you have to sit your ass down and work whether the inspiration shows up or not.
  4. Three of my not-yet-pubbed friends have emailed me in the last week, plagued by the sharp teeth and claws of Doubt Monsters. They’re all fantastic writers. I believe with my whole heart that all three of them will be published.
  5. I’ve been wrestling the Doubt Monsters lately myself as I work on my edits for BORN WICKED. This is the first time I’ve been on deadline. It’s the first time I’ve gotten such extensive revision notes. I’m incredibly lucky to have gotten an amazing deal, to be able to quit my job, to have such a supportive editor. But I want to make everyone proud. I want to be awesome. I want this book to be wildly successful. I want readers to love my book. I want these things very, very badly. And if I think about it too much, I get stuck. It’s too much. I can’t write from that place of fear and overwhelm. I find excuses to go out with friends, to take naps, to read, to eat cookies, to do anything except write. I expect this sort of paralysis happens to almost all writers, over and over again, at various points. For me? The best solution I’ve found so far is to take my ego out of it. I may not always trust myself, but I trust The Playwright and my fabulous CP and my amazing editor to tell me when things work and when they don’t and help me fix it. I trust the process—that if I do my part, if I show up and get quiet and shove my ego out of the way, we’ll figure it out.  It’s not about me. It’s about the story. Telling the story is manageable. Telling the story is my job.

Originally published at Jessica Shea Spotswood. You can comment here or there.

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( 18 comments — Leave a comment )
rllafevers[info]rllafevers on April 23rd, 2011 04:04 am (UTC)
Great way to deal with fear! It's the solution that works best for me--getting my ego out of the way by not weighing down the writing with specific goals or hopes or desires or wishes, but just concentrating on writing the best book that I can in that moment in time.
Jessica Spotswood[info]jessica_shea on April 23rd, 2011 11:26 pm (UTC)
Yes! More and more, I'm trying to separate my thoughts on writing into two categories: business/career stuff and a satisfying creative life. When the two get mixed up together, when I'm thinking about career goals during writing time, I think it causes a lot of that fear.
Kathleen Foucart: Hearts[info]kathleenfoucart on April 23rd, 2011 04:59 am (UTC)
*hugs* I freely admit to being one who emailed with the OMG PANIC. You're so right (and your email was awesome, btw). Gotta just let it flow & not let the fear in.

I also started to explain why I'm feeling better, but it got long & I didn't want to hijack your post, so I'll post on my LJ :)
Jessica Spotswood[info]jessica_shea on April 23rd, 2011 11:24 pm (UTC)
I will scurry off to read your post now. I'm so glad my email helped! Miss you!
pingback_bot[info]pingback_bot on April 23rd, 2011 05:40 am (UTC)
Writing is Scary.
User [info]kathleenfoucart referenced to your post from Writing is Scary. saying: [...] d. And that's okay. Jess has put together some 'research,' and apparently so is everyone else. [...]
Stephanie Burgis: hugs[info]stephanieburgis on April 23rd, 2011 10:42 am (UTC)
I love this post. *hugs*
Jessica Spotswood[info]jessica_shea on April 23rd, 2011 11:23 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I'm so happy it's resonated with other writers. And what a fabulous icon! *hugs back*
Lisa Schroeder, Author for Kids and Teens[info]lisa_schroeder on April 23rd, 2011 03:49 pm (UTC)
I'm wrestling the Doubt Monsters too. I HATE them. I have a book that is going to need a major overhaul. My publisher believes I can do it. But what if I can't, is what I keep asking myself. But of course, I have to believe I can. I think that's what is hard - having that belief in ourselves when we are wrestling with the fear.

I keep telling myself, I love a great challenge. Like you said - I have to trust the process, and believe I can rise to the challenge.
Jessica Spotswood[info]jessica_shea on April 23rd, 2011 11:23 pm (UTC)
I believe you can do it, Lisa! I think of you as a very brave writer, trying different styles and writing for different ages. But I definitely understand that fear. Good luck!
[info]samarajensen on April 23rd, 2011 04:37 pm (UTC)
Thinking too much is my problem too. I have been letting all my life worries intrude into my writing time and, as a result, I haven't been able to get any writing done in over a week now. Wouldn't it be nice if we could climb into a bubble when we write and shut out all thoughts of the outside world and just immerse ourselves in our craft? That would be good! : )
Jessica Spotswood[info]jessica_shea on April 23rd, 2011 11:22 pm (UTC)
A writing bubble would be lovely! I'm visiting my family this wkend & went to see my grandfather, whose Alzheimers has gotten a lot worse since Christmas. Like, to the point where he no longer recognizes me. It was really sad. And I'm definitely having trouble focusing on work now.
[info]samarajensen on April 26th, 2011 04:04 pm (UTC)
So sorry to hear about your grandfather. Alzheimers is a terrible thing and I live in fear of it. I really respect all the work Terry Pratchett is doing to make people more aware of the condition and to work towards finding a solution of sorts. There was a story in the paper the other day about a possible 'cure' that scientists are working on - no doubt it's a long way off yet, but it's nice to know that hopefully, one day, there will be a way to stop it in its tracks. *hugs*
Marissa Meyer[info]marissameyer on April 23rd, 2011 11:23 pm (UTC)
You are not alone! The Doubt Monster has been coming and going sporadically since I got my book deal, too, and sometimes it really can paralyze a person. Two strategies have helped me: one is that I remind myself I've gotten this far, clearly my agent and editor (and scores of other involved persons) loved my book and my writing enough to pay me for it, so there must be something good about it! Sometimes we just need to trust ourselves and our abilities.

The second thing that helps me is pretending it's still a year ago and I'm still just writing for fun and enjoying this side hobby. That way I can focus on the story and the characters and having FUN with it, rather than worry that it won't be good enough.

I'm sure your revisions will be great! *cheers*
Jessica Spotswood[info]jessica_shea on April 25th, 2011 06:29 pm (UTC)
Thanks, Marissa! It's so reassuring to know that everyone struggles with this. I like the idea of pretending you're just writing for fun. I mean, ultimately, isn't that what it's about anyway?
Jenny Gordon[info]jennygordon on April 25th, 2011 10:48 am (UTC)
Thanks so much for posting this. The Fear Monster must be doing the rounds at the moment, as I'm currently also wallowing in the pit of Rampaging Doubt about my writing. It's always good to know I'm not alone, even if that sounds a bit twisted! Here's hoping we all find a way to face our fears.
Jessica Spotswood[info]jessica_shea on April 25th, 2011 06:29 pm (UTC)
Thanks for commenting! It makes me really happy that this resonated so much with other writers. Good luck!
tinachristopher[info]tinachristopher on April 26th, 2011 02:16 am (UTC)
Another great post, Jess. I take it as a sign that we're all in the same boat and here to support each other.

"It's not about me. It's about the story."

So true!
Jessica Spotswood[info]jessica_shea on April 27th, 2011 09:07 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Tina! I'm so glad this post resonated with people. Sometimes it's nervous-making to post the really honest ones, you know?
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